Our little bean was 6 weeks yesterday! I've been feeling really horrible the last few days, but have been so excited because I think it's a good sign! I've heard that having horrible morning sickness means that baby is growing well!! Earlier I was praying for morning sickness. Now I'm praying that God will just help me through the day and help me see this as a blessing! Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited to feel nauseous all day long, but it's really not much fun.
In two weeks we have our first appointment! I'm really hoping that it goes well. I'm so hopeful and doubtful at the same time. I don't know how I'm going to deal with having another ultrasound. I guess I'm just praying that this time goes better than last.
We spent the weekend at my best friend & husbands house down in Louisville this past weekend. She was asking me how I was feeling and how I was dealing with this emotionally. The best way that I can describe it is that I'm trying not to get too attached. When I say it out loud it just sounds stupid! I know that even thought I'm trying to not, I'm still very attached. I would be devastated if we lost this baby also. I think that I'm trying to prepare myself for the possibility. I hate to think that it might happen again, but I know that it can and that absolutely scares me.
I guess until our appointment, I will just have to spend a lot of time in prayer!!
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Telling our Families!
Yesterday, we told our families that we are expecting. We decided what better way to share our news than to tell our fathers that they were going to be grandfathers! We gave them a father's day card from 'Baby Reineke' stating that he/she would see them in February!
We had a tough time trying to decide whether or not to tell people. I was all for telling people early so if a similar situation happens this time around we at least got to have our families be happy for us. Also, I imagine it's easier to tell people something is wrong and we're going to miscarry if they actually know we're pregnant. Last time, I told my mom in tears that I was pregnant and losing the baby all in the same breath. I really wanted to do it differently this time around. Mitch wasn't so sure we should tell our families until after our first appointment, but after I told him my reasons for wanting to tell them earlier rather than later, he understood and agreed.
Yesterday was such a happy day! Our house was filled with family, so much so that it was almost crowded! It was great to have our families get together also. I don't know that our parents have really been at the same place since we got married two years ago! Our fathers spent the entire afternoon talking farming and our mothers spent the first part of the afternoon helping me in the kitchen and the other half telling me pregnancy stories (not all of which sound like much fun)!!
While I know that it's still extremely early in my pregnancy, I can't help but be filled with hope and joy. I'm still very nervous and cautious, but until I think something is wrong I'm going to be more happy than worried. I can't help but compare this pregnancy to my last. It's all so different. My 'symptoms' are completely different. I've also heard that morning sickness is a good sign, so I've been praying to be puking my guts out! I have to pray out loud (it just seems odd to me to say a prayer in my head) and Mitch laughs every time he hears me ask God to make me sick for the next 8 months!!
So, if you're reading this, prayers are appreciated!!!
We had a tough time trying to decide whether or not to tell people. I was all for telling people early so if a similar situation happens this time around we at least got to have our families be happy for us. Also, I imagine it's easier to tell people something is wrong and we're going to miscarry if they actually know we're pregnant. Last time, I told my mom in tears that I was pregnant and losing the baby all in the same breath. I really wanted to do it differently this time around. Mitch wasn't so sure we should tell our families until after our first appointment, but after I told him my reasons for wanting to tell them earlier rather than later, he understood and agreed.
Yesterday was such a happy day! Our house was filled with family, so much so that it was almost crowded! It was great to have our families get together also. I don't know that our parents have really been at the same place since we got married two years ago! Our fathers spent the entire afternoon talking farming and our mothers spent the first part of the afternoon helping me in the kitchen and the other half telling me pregnancy stories (not all of which sound like much fun)!!
While I know that it's still extremely early in my pregnancy, I can't help but be filled with hope and joy. I'm still very nervous and cautious, but until I think something is wrong I'm going to be more happy than worried. I can't help but compare this pregnancy to my last. It's all so different. My 'symptoms' are completely different. I've also heard that morning sickness is a good sign, so I've been praying to be puking my guts out! I have to pray out loud (it just seems odd to me to say a prayer in my head) and Mitch laughs every time he hears me ask God to make me sick for the next 8 months!!
So, if you're reading this, prayers are appreciated!!!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Rainbow
A rainbow baby is what us baby loss mamas call a baby due after a loss because after every storm comes a rainbow.
Everytime I see a rainbow, I can't help but smile. When I was a little girl, my dad taught me to wish on rainbows. There was no sense wishing on a star, but a rainbow was something magical. Only now, do I truly understand that. Since we lost Taylor in January, my life has been one big, continuos storm. Yesterday, God sent me a rainbow.
We've been trying for the last four months and after last month when my body 'reset' itself, I was really hoping that something would happen. I kept wishing for a rainbow. And yesterday morning, I got one.
Yesterday morning I decided to test a couple days early. After the last four months of early testing and negative results, I expected the same. When that positive showed up, all I could do was stare at it! I was so surprised! I called Mitch right away, even though he was at work and he sounded just as surprised as I was! I really wish I would have thought about some cute way to surprise him, but it's just second nature to share everything with him.
We are expecting our rainbow baby in February. Even though it's still really early, we decided to tell our families this weekend. What better way to announce a grandchild than to do it on Father's Day?!? We had a tough time trying to decide when to tell people. With Taylor, it was so painful to tell people we were losing a baby when they didn't even know we were pregnant. We decided we really want our family to know early, so that if something does happen we at least got to share our good news with them.
So, if your reading this, please don't share our secret with the world just yet! I had to share our joy with someone even if it meant just putting it in writing!!!
Everytime I see a rainbow, I can't help but smile. When I was a little girl, my dad taught me to wish on rainbows. There was no sense wishing on a star, but a rainbow was something magical. Only now, do I truly understand that. Since we lost Taylor in January, my life has been one big, continuos storm. Yesterday, God sent me a rainbow.
We've been trying for the last four months and after last month when my body 'reset' itself, I was really hoping that something would happen. I kept wishing for a rainbow. And yesterday morning, I got one.
Yesterday morning I decided to test a couple days early. After the last four months of early testing and negative results, I expected the same. When that positive showed up, all I could do was stare at it! I was so surprised! I called Mitch right away, even though he was at work and he sounded just as surprised as I was! I really wish I would have thought about some cute way to surprise him, but it's just second nature to share everything with him.
We are expecting our rainbow baby in February. Even though it's still really early, we decided to tell our families this weekend. What better way to announce a grandchild than to do it on Father's Day?!? We had a tough time trying to decide when to tell people. With Taylor, it was so painful to tell people we were losing a baby when they didn't even know we were pregnant. We decided we really want our family to know early, so that if something does happen we at least got to share our good news with them.
So, if your reading this, please don't share our secret with the world just yet! I had to share our joy with someone even if it meant just putting it in writing!!!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Mixed Feelings
My last post was all about how I was not going to think/worry/fret about getting pregnant......but that's so hard to do! I've been thinking more and more about it since it's closer to the time when we find out if we are or aren't. As the day gets closer, I seem to think about it more. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever be able to stop thinking about getting pregnant!!
It's very frustrating to try again after a loss. If we had tried this long the first time around, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been anxious, nervous, or frustrated. I would have expected it! But the second time around is harder. I want to be pregnant so badly, but I'm really worried about being pregnant. I know that once I'm pregnant I'll worry all the time. I'm so scared of having another miscarriage.
Sorry for venting! I just really need to remember God has a plan!
It's very frustrating to try again after a loss. If we had tried this long the first time around, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been anxious, nervous, or frustrated. I would have expected it! But the second time around is harder. I want to be pregnant so badly, but I'm really worried about being pregnant. I know that once I'm pregnant I'll worry all the time. I'm so scared of having another miscarriage.
Sorry for venting! I just really need to remember God has a plan!
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